“Admit something: Everyone you see, you say to them, “Love me.†Of course you do not do this out loud, otherwise Someone would call the cops. Still, though, think about this, this great pull in us to connect. Why not become the one who lives with a Full moon in each eye that is always saying, With that sweet moon language, what every other eye in This world is dying to hear?-Hafiz
What you desire most for yourself, why not provide it for others first? Life offers us infinite opportunities to see ourselves in others. When we look into the eyes of another, see our reflection and ask of that other to “love me,†we have ventured into the realm of Self. To get a secure footing into that, one must leave their selfishness and self-loathing behind. Love is not something you can do or something you can give; it is all-inclusive. You cannot love anyone or anything—Love is too big to be controlled like that by “you.†Love has nobody, nobody has love. You can only be Love itself.
When you take the time to sit with someone quietly, both of you being still and close enough so that you can see into the eyes of the other person, you will see yourself reflected. We mirror one another. It takes a certain amount of daring to do such a thing—it is so intimate. Even with someone you know and consider a friend, for most of us it is awkward to get that close. Of course there are times and occasions when this type of intimacy is accepted. It most often happens with mothers and their babies, and lovers when they are first getting to know each other often spend long periods of time in this type of reflective moon glow. But it certainly isn’t a common daily practice among most of us. We are either too busy to be bothered with looking that closely at the others in our lives, or afraid of the potential consequences, and instead seek ways to avoid interaction with most people we encounter during our day, our week or our lives. Has it always been like this? Is this a natural way to live?
Some people say that there are only two kinds of beings in the world, the predator and the prey. They will draw parallels with wild animals and point out that carnivores never look directly into the eyes of anyone unless it is to challenge them to a fight, or hypnotize and frighten another animal that they intend to eat. Vegetarian animals on the other hand tend to have large eyes and are constantly on the lookout for enemies. Many human beings identify themselves as predators, because they insist it is the better option. Of course I don’t agree with that, but I will say if we acknowledge it as a fact for some people it may help us begin to understand the fear and paranoia that permeate our social interactions with others. Cultural conditioning can lie deep, but the good news is that it is learned and so it can be unlearned.
Philosopher Ken Wilber says that generally speaking, men and women are biologically under the influence of two very different chemicals and that over many thousands of years, our patriarchal-meat eating-military-power based culture has utilized this for its advancement in areas of exploitation. Testosterone basically, at its worst, expresses itself as sexual aggression, manipulation and violence. The corresponding influence is oxytocin, a hormone that induces strong feelings of attachment, nurturing, holding and touching. Most of us (at least those of us who are reading this essay) don’t live in a world where we are constantly being chased by an aggressor and have to run for our lives or turn and engage in combat. But still many men and women behave as if this were the case. But as spiritual practitioners, looking to evolve, we investigate other modes of relating to one another and in doing so we uncover more possibilities within ourselves. Perhaps yoga allows a man to become more of a shaman, tuning into his feminine side and thereby discovering less competitive, aggressive ways to relate to others. Perhaps for women, yoga can help to develop more fearlessness and confidence without having to compromise nurturing. Yoga can help us all feel more relaxed and at ease with ourselves and others.
A spiritual seeker is someone who is looking to find themselves. If we want to embark on the spiritual adventure of daring to look into the eyes of another and feel comfortable about it without any ulterior motive other than pure perception of being, we could start by practicing with kindred spirits—other yoga practitioners—in the safe and sanctified space of the yoga classroom, a place put aside for the investigation of such matters. The quest is this: To see yourself in others—to look so deeply that otherness disappears—leaving only the Self, Love itSelf.
Yoga philosophy states that the world is a projection coming from our own mind—for better or for worse. If you have negative thoughts in your mind, you see negativity in others. We could remember that harboring negative thoughts in our minds is optional, and choose instead to embrace positive thoughts, and then these positive thoughts would radiate from us into the world and affect all the other beings that we “see.†Eventually through this practice we will realize that there are no others—and it is at this point that Self-realization arises.
We all want to be loved, we want people to like us, we want to be acknowledged, and we don’t want to be ignored or made to feel insignificant. A yogi knows this truth, that all beings matter, and when you dare to care, dare to reach out towards another for the sake of pure love, with that sweet moon language, it transforms yourself and the other.
—Sharon Gannon
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