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Writer's pictureElizabeth Reumont

Sliding Doors

PYS 2.3 avidya asmita raga dvesha abinivesha pancha klesha There are five kinds of hindrances or obstacles of the mind (kleshas): 1) forgetting, or ignorance about the true nature of things (avidya), 2) I-ness, individuality, or egoism (asmita), 3) attachment or addiction to mental impressions or objects (raga), 4) aversion to thought patterns or objects (dvesha), and 5) love of these as being life itself, as well as fear of their loss as being death. PYS 1.23 ishvara pranidhana va From a special process of devotion and letting go into the creative source from which we emerged (ishvara pranidhana), the coming of samadhi is imminent.

Do you ever wonder what event is about to unfold in your life; what may be waiting for you just around the corner? Will you turn left or right, and how might this decision alter the course of your life? At the end of the day, how much control do you have over your destiny?

For each of us, a vast spectrum of potential for life exists, though it is largely out of our control. The irony is that as humans, we operate a great amount of the time on assumption, on thinking we know; we spend even more time plotting and planning for some fabrication of a future reality that most of the time doesn’t go according to plan. Many of us live with a great fear that if we don’t choose the ‘right’ path then our future will go horribly wrong. Eventually but inevitably, the more we clench, grip and attach to that fear, the more it consumes and paralyses us.

So how do we break the cycle of wanting to control the people and things around us? We make the best decisions we can with the limited information we have, and adapt as necessary as our paths unfold. Through the practices of yoga and other meditative processes, we become more aware of our thoughts and ideas. When appropriate, we also become more able to trace their roots to an origin of mis-information or ego and insecurity. Most importantly, we have faith that some force far greater than our limited self exists and is at play. The more we acknowledge this, the more assured we are that everything is as it should be, even when it doesn’t necessarily appear that way at the time.

Faith gives us the opportunity to move away from delusion, insecurity and a fixation on labelling and judging; from here, an alternate reality to our normal way of perceiving ‘good’ and ‘bad’ begins to dissipate. The more we let go of the small self’s preferences and aversions, the more we see that choices are neither good or bad, but simply different. Most importantly, we start to identify with something far greater than our individual being, recognising instead that we are a part of a inter-connected matrix with all of creation. As such, the peace, happiness and well being of all others ultimately affects our own potential for peace and joy.

In my life at present, these are some of the ideas that I carry with me throughout my day. More specifically, as I await an organ transplant, with every day that goes by, receiving an organ from another being who’s life force has recently left their body becomes more and more of a likely reality. While I don’t know this being’s name or whether they are already in a state of physical or mental discomfort or happily unaware of their imminent death, I am deeply touched knowing that this being is out there living their life, and will likely lose it in the short term whilst sparing mine. This stranger will become a part of me, which is remarkable on so many levels.

Being given an organ is not just a matter of life and death, but bears a responsibility and acknowledgement on a grand scale. In fact, it will change the gestalt of my life. After the transplant, life will likely be in part about living to honour the spirit of this other being; to ‘wear them with care’, so to speak. On another level, all tissue has memory and carries traits of the source body. I think about whether or not this person is kind and compassionate and whether my tissue will interact well with the new organ: will they be friends?

While I don’t know if or when the call will come to alert me to come to the hospital, I do have faith. I have this faith because I have nothing else to fall back on, and because of my strong belief that a force greater than the imaginable has woven all animate life forms into an interconnected hive. We are a brother and sisterhood of all of creation. This belief has enabled me to live with purpose, even while ruminating daily on the if, when and how of the given circumstances. I hold a space in my heart and mind for the unknown brother or sister who will merge with me both physically and metaphysically, and I offer daily blessings that they may not suffer, that they may enjoy their life until their last breath without pain or sorrow.

The universe has a grand plan for each of us, and the more we will come to understand our own sense of faith and a greater cosmic reality, the more we can let go of our mis-informed judgements, preferences, aversions and fears. Sooner or later we may come to realize that in fact, there is no right or left; there isn’t even a corner. There is only resting into the earth where we are, and limitless potential.

“When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds: Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.” ― Patanjali

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